soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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