Quick, to the slutcave!
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
