i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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