Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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