I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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