I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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