I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
