i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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