He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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