I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize