The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
