if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You took a bar mat shot.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
