my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
