If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
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