i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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