I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
