You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
