Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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