Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
