I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
