no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
