If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
