farters have to be the big spoon...
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
