everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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