so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
