butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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