yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
either way he was missing a nipple.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
