You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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