Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
