Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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