I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
