Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??

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(323): View more from California

my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous

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(702): View more from Nevada

You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.

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(904): View more from Florida

He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE

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(914): View more from New York

tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.

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(775): View more from Nevada

This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Hey! you should come over!

(1-505): View more from New Mexico

Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"

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