She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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