Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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