Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Randomize
