Just fell off a train. Bad.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
