you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
