Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
