so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
