I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
