it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
