I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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