This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
