pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Randomize
