The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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