All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
