On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
