ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
