my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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