I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
